Monday, December 25, 2006

Play or Promote The Game?

T'would seem that the US Air Force & the US Navy would rather play--and win--but apparently, the US Army prefers to keep psyching up for the event and trashing the other side. Hmmm... methinks the Army needs to take a lesson here. See, it's like this :)

I don't normally follow sports--at all--but I do follow the US Armed Forces and well, there's this ritual grunting thing they do every year called "football." I don't watch those events either but I check to see who beat up whom and how badly--it's always some kind of pattern, like this. First, Navy beats the crap out of the Air Force. Then a month later, the Air Force beats the crap out of the Army. Then, in December, as though none of this has happened, everyone psyches up for "The Game" (that's when Navy beats the crap out of the Army).

You'd think it would go the other way around, for symmetry's sake but no, that's a violation of the Laws of the Universe :) At least for the last 107 years, "Army Football, Making Navy look good." Hey, it's a saying. I don't make these things up, I just report them.

Anyway, I was wondering why this is--I mean, the Army is pretty tough, right? Heck, they're Army Strong! (Actually, that's a parody of the new Army ad so if you haven't seen this acclaimed 2006 advert yet, watch it now and then watch that parody so you get the joke. Also play around on the Army recruiting site, too. You'll be glad you did.)

But despite being all Army Strong, they keep losing--and not just to anyone! Everyone claims the Air Force is just too spiffy to take seriously and that the Navy is just playing around (which is true, actually, 'cause every ship in the Fleet is making one of these music videos it seems) but they both keep beating Army at football. So why is that?

Turns out, I think I see the problem. The Army community is sooooo busy making all of these kinds of videos either making fun of the Navy or trying to psych themselves up for The Game, they've completely lost sight of the uhh, ball.

When they're not losing a football game to one of the the other branches of the service the Army guys are actually Doing Good Works and saving the free world by letting their asses get shot off and dying on the ground while the Air Force flies overhead and the Navy watches from the sea--so we can forgive them for not having time to figure out how to win a stupid game of ball. Right?

We don't want to piss off those Army guys though; they don't take kindly to idiots, and in all truth, all of the US Armed Forces work together in a joint effort very nicely.

I don't see the point in the game's just a bunch of guys running back and forth and beating on the other guys. Wait, isn't that what the Army does for a living? Oooph, now I'm confused again ;-)


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