Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Another One Bites the Dust...erm, Anodized Steel

I'm not snippeting out here in public, on my blog, for reasons that have been explained elsewhere and repeatedly, but I know some of the Barflies wanted to read the kill scenes without having to wade through the snippets as a whole. Here's my first cut of Robert Cruze, Jr.'s ("Crazy" Bob Cruze in the story) kill scene. This excerpted snippet is told in Rainey's POV (sorry if you find it too laced with expletives for your taste; Rainey talks that way. Deal.)

Big H/T to Barfly Michael Sayer for helping me tweak this and of course, to 'flies James Cochrane, Steven "Steffan" Stewart and others who brainstormed the various means and methods for Rainey to use in killing Cruze without resorting to firearms (too noisy). And last but not least, to Steve Yee for the loverly Gerber Mark II knife with which Rainey kills Crazy Cruze. Play the "mood music" if you like :) Hopefully, it does not start on its own.

Knife at the ready, Rainey started down the dark hallway and hoped it was Cruze. He'd really hate to have to kill Lisa with a fucking knife. Whoever it was, they were definitely in the parlour.

Parlour, he mused to himself as he crept along, who the fuck calls it a parlour besides Lacey? The intruder thumped against something and was muttering to themself about it. He smiled. Lisa might curse at furniture but she wouldn't walk into it, which meant it was his lucky night. He was finally going to kill Crazy Cruze.

He stopped at the door jamb, posed to pounce as soon as Cruze managed to turn the doorway. He didn't have to wait long. He would rather not have had to take Cruze from the front, but he moved quickly enough out of instinct, it was a done deal before he'd had time to reflect on the disadvantage at which he'd put himself.

With one hand crushing thumb and fingertips into Cruze's cheeks, he shoved Cruze back against the wall, and slipped the Gerber in just under the jaw, up through the little fucker's tongue and upper palate and into the lunatic's brain.

From his vantage point, he got to watch Cruze's eyes bug out, but even thumping the little shit against the wall didn't stop the dying Cruze from kicking Rainey in the shins. He lifted with both hands to get Cruze's feet off the ground. After a moment, the jerking finally stopped. He felt liquid seeping in between his bare toes as he lowered the body and retrieved his knife, wiping it off on Cruze's shoulder.

He didn't want to think about whether the liquid on the floor was urine, blood or whatever Cruze had had for dinner. He'd get bloody hell from Lacey for the mess he'd made on her Oriental hall runner even if it had been plain water. So be it, he decided, she'll be moving soon enough and replace it anyway.


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